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Peyton Manning looks just like that guy from 'Home Alone' with the iron mark on his forehead

Home Alone first graced movie screens across America in 1990. Twenty-three years later, it’s a certifiable holiday classic. To pay homage to the best Christmas movie of the past generation, we recast 23 “major” roles from the film with sports figures.

1. “Marv” — Peyton Manning

(AP)

(AP)

In addition to having unsightly, red, pyramid-shaped marks on their foreheads, Peyton and Marv aren’t afraid of hurting children and tend to struggle in December.

2. “Kevin McCallister” — Daniel Snyder

(AP)

(AP)

Diminutive, wealthy, mischievous and prone to making life difficult for older men just looking to get paid.

3. “Harry” — Chris Johnson

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

They’re both gold-toothed robbers, though Harry robs houses while Chris Johnson steals your hopes at a fantasy football title whenever you draft him.

4. “Kate McCallister” — Suzy Kolber

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Redheads who show remarkable poise in the face of traumatic events.

5. “Old Man Marley” — Tom Coughlin

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

Both start out surly and misunderstood, then find redemption en route to a happy ending. (Maybe not this year for Coughlin.)

6. “Buzz” — Richie Incognito

incognito buzz

Does Richie Incognito have a secret chest filled with back issues of Playboy, stray cash, fireworks and a tarantula? Odds are that he does.

7. “Gus Polinski, Polka King of the Midwest” — John Madden

(AP)

(AP)

Madden already has the loquaciousness, girth and yellow jacket. Swap the clarinet for a turducken and he’s a perfect fit.

8. “Uncle Frank” — Bobby Knight

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Fond of the sweater vest, both irascible older men have the tendency to use salty language when conversing with youths.

9. “Pizza Boy” — Any Duke center of the past 20 years

dukepizzaguy

They’re all prone to making odd faces, are probably frightened by scary movies and are never, ever guilty of taking a charge.

10. The statue the pizza boy keeps knocking over — Vinny Testaverde

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Immobile objects that take a licking and keep on ticking.

11. “Buzz’s girlfriend” — Clay Matthews

(AP)

(AP)

The “girl” in the photo is actually the son of the art director because director Chris Columbus didn’t want to mock any young girl. How nice. Anyway, since we’re trying to come in under budget on this film, we’ll cast Clay and his long hair.

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12. “Fuller” — Young Eli Manning

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Cooper and Peyton probably fought each other to see who’d have to share the hide-a-bed with Eli.

13. “The annoying kid from next door who says ‘bring me back something French'” and “the aggravated shuttle driver” — Jon Gruden and Mike Tirico

grudentiricokiddrive

One won’t stop talking while the other just wants to do his job.

14. “Peter McCallister” — Brock Huard

(AP)

(AP)

The Home Alone dad is played by John Heard, a fine, if undistinguished, actor. So we’ll cast Brock Huard, a fine, if undistinguished, quarterback in this role. Because their names are similar, you see.

15 “Kevin’s sister” — Melanie Oudin

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Linnie McCallister starts off the movie strong with the “Kevin, you’re what the French call les incompetents,” then you forget about her after her big entrance.

16 “Kevin’s redheaded brother” — Andy Dalton

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

Sorry, Andy, making the playoffs in your first three seasons is awesome, but until you win one of those games you’re just going to be typecast.

17. “The faulty power line” — The Superdome during the Super Bowl

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

Ray Lewis thought Home Alone was a conspiracy.

18. “Michael Jordan cutout riding around as a decoy on the train” — Harold Miner

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“And introducing Baby Jordan in the role he was born to play.”

19. “Smoking Santa Claus” — Jim Leyland

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

You just know Leyland gives his grandkids Tic Tacs for dinner too.

20. “Kevin’s imaginary dad” — Lennay Kekua

kevinpesci

At one point, Kevin tries to fake out Joe Pesci by saying his father’s home, but the thief sees right through the act, giving him more prescience than every single person who watched a Notre Dame game last season.

21. “The scary heater” — Jeff Fisher

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

Fisher or any mustachioed authority figure will do.

22. “Feathered Harry” — The San Diego Chicken

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Hey, a chicken’s gotta eat.

23. “Pesci and Stern’s stunt double” — Robert Griffin III

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

If there’s anyone used to taking hits and being the foil in a comical farce, it’s RG3.

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