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Life is about to get a whole lot better, football fans

This is the online version of our morning newsletter, The Morning WinSubscribe to get irreverent and incisive sports stories, delivered to your mailbox every morning.

We made it.

Well, almost.

I’m talking, of course, about football coming back into our lives, which is something that will happen Saturday when Miami faces No. 8 Florida at 7 p.m. ET in the college football season opener.

Heck yeah, Saturdays.

This also means that soon enough we’ll be watching NFL games on Sundays, too.

Rejoice!

It’s been a long time since we’ve had any meaningful football games to watch on the weekend and this return couldn’t have come at a better time because sports options on TV have been pretty darn limited as of late.

Now, we get back to football. My esteemed colleague, Michelle Martinelli, gets you ready for the season with the 11 teams with the best preseason odds, six sleeper teams that could make the playoffs, and she also ranked the top 25 teams by likability.

Michelle lives for college football and will be covering it all season once again for us, so you should follow her on Twitter.

Let’s look at some ways that our worlds are about to get better with football weekends being back.

1. No more having to spend way too much time with your family!

Sure, family time is nice, mostly in theory, but many of you will have now an excuse to bow out of certain activities that you wouldn’t be interested in if you didn’t have a family. Nice 3-plus hour breaks spent on the couch are about to make your life even better. Congratulations.

2. More opportunities for some good ol’ day drinking!

I’m guessing many of you have been day drinking on Saturdays all summer long but now you have an excuse to keep it rolling. Sure, it may lead to some anxious moments as you reach for your phone early Sunday morning, but throwing some back while watching games with friends is tough to beat. Just don’t go too hard.

3. Gambling!

Think about all the money you’re going to win this season! OK, you’re probably going to lose a lot and will see your financial situation plummet to frightening lows, but sometimes you’ll get lucky and be able to briefly forget about all that losing. Go easy on this, too. Being broke is no fun.

4. Eating terrible food!

Football brings more and more opportunities to eat wings, pizza, BBQ, etc. with no regrets. You’re watching a football game, what are you gonna do, have a salad!? Heck no you’re not. Pass that pizza!

5. Stale group texts will get a new life!

Anybody else in some group texts where everyone has run out of things to say to each other? Well, football is about to fix that and make your friends entertaining again.

Football is back! We made it through another long, boring offseason.

Kick back and enjoy.

Speaking of football, the Raiders-Packers game was a mess Thursday:

(John Woods/The Canadian Press via AP) ORG XMIT: JGW102

The Packers and the Raiders had to play on an 80-yard field Thursday night in Winnipeg due to a hole in the end zone that was where the goalpost usually is in CFL games. How the NFL didn’t see this being a problem until the teams came out for warmups is a little absurd, and fans had a good time ripping the NFL over it. What a mess.

Thursday’s biggest winners: Not Melvin Gordon or Ezekiel Elliott.

Our Steven Ruiz, a deep-thinking, football genius who should also be followed all season, broke down why the star running backs might not be as important as they think they are. Gotta think Gordon and Zeke hope that their bosses don’t see this.

Quick hits: Robert Nkemdiche is out of shape, Conor McGregor is sorry about punching an old fella, and more stuff!

– Robert Nkemdiche was a first-round pick in the 2016 NFL Draft. Now with the Dolphins, he’s so out of shape he couldn’t even finish a run across the field. Yikes.

– Conor McGregor spoke to ESPN on Thursday and said he feels bad about hitting that old man at a pub in Dublin. As he should!

– Lots and lots and lots of people in Pittsburgh have been watching ‘Hard Knocks’ this summer, and Antonio Brown had fun taking a shot at them.

– So many Red Sox fans made it to Fenway on Thursday to watch the home team win a game in 12 minutes.

– Some fantasy football help for ya: Here are 4 running backs that are being taken way too high in drafts.

OK, folks. Enjoy the weekend!

Football!

Life!

Gambling!

Day drinking!

Just go easy. It’s a long season. Pace yourselves

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